Lake front home

12 Jan

Posted by Admin as Real Estate

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From GoArticles.com

Open Question: What do you think of my story about suicide (to help me recover)?
It’s fictional, but i hav attempted so i want to write a story to get the feelings out, the story is about the girl healing and how hard it is to move on from the past.
(I wrote this before twilight came out so i did not steal the name Bella)

Bella looked out her window at the frozen lake and felt a chill, when she closed her eyes she could still see her family together skating on the ice. Now her father and older sister and brother were gone and her Mom had no time for her and her brother. She felt a tear slide down her face and she sat down on her bed and pulled her knees to her chest. She couldn’t stand it anymore, too much fighting and hate. She missed her ex but he couldn’t care any less. She used to be happy but then her best friend had betrayed her and gone out with her ex she still deeply cared about and she just laughed when she told her about her family problems. She reached out through the dim light in her room to her bottle of pills, they were pain killers but she mixed in sleeping pills in the same bottle. She was shaking now and all she could see was her ex hugging her old best friend, the tears were pouring now.
If she took the pills now she would be dead by the time her Mom and Brother got back from his hockey game. They wouldn’t be home till late tonight and it was only nine p.m. She took as many pills as she could in her hand and with a glass of water she swallowed them all.
She ripped a page out of her notebook and wrote on it, the tears mixing with the ink of her pen.
“I need him to Live”
She layed on her bed, he was burned into her mind, he was what she lived for. She heard a knock on the door, she ignored it. She heard a voice,
“Bella I know you are home, please it’s me Ryan.”
Her eyes opend in shock, Ryan was her ex but she was starting to get dizzy, she stumbled to the front door, glad the house didn’t have stairs.
She opend the door just as she was about to faint and she heard Ryan’s surprise.

Open Question: i’ve always wanted to be a writer, so can someone read this and tell me what they think so far? ?
The rain pounded hard against the window pane. I sighed as I continued to watch it from my small bedroom window.There was some fog on my window…making it hard to see. But, despite of the fog I could tell, by looking at the sky, that the weather was going to get worse. There were very dark gray clouds hovering not too far above my home-town. The rain looked more like huge streams of water pouring from the sky it was coming down so hard and heavy. There was a loud explosion of thunder. This was followed almost immediately by blinding lightning and then another clash of thunder. The storm was getting really bad. I was beginning to get bored of just watching the weather so I looked over at my digital alarm clock to see what time it was. “6:30. Mom and Dad should be getting up soon.” I said to myself. I heaved my legs over the side of my bed and stood up. I stretched my arms out and yawned. I scratched the back of my head and and then I slowly made my way through my small and dark (messy) bedroom and over to the wooden door. As I walked over to the door I tripped over a pair of converse shoes that were laying in the middle of my floor, I cursed under my breath and tried to stand up, but instead I hit my head on the bottom of my open dresser drawer. The dresser shook and a huge pile of music CDs fell off the top of it. I stayed on my knees waiting for the pain in my head to subside. I managed to get up without hitting my head again and picked up part of the CDs that had fallen and put them back on top of the dresser. I noticed there was a pizza box on top of it, also. I grabbed it and continued to the door. Once I made it over there I Iooked back at my window for a second, let out another sigh and then I left the room. I tip-toed across the hallway, so incase my parents were still in bed, I wouldn’t wake them. But when I made it to the stares, I heard sounds in the kitchen so I knew my mom was up. I raced down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. My mom was in there already fixing breakfast. “How many eggs do you want, sweetie-pie?” She asked with a smile on her face. My eye twitched a little. I hate it when she calls me things like that! Sometimes I think she forgot what my real name is! “I’m not really hungry right now. I’ll…I’ll eat later.” I told her while throwing away the pizza box into our trash compactor. “You’re not hungry!? Muffin!? Are you feeling ok?” She asked in her high-pitched worried voice. “I’m fine. Really.” I answered shaking my head. “Well, ok…But make SURE you do eat this morning!” She replied. I nodded and left the kitchen. I went into the livingroom and made my way to our grey sofa. I grabbed my dark red hoodie that I layed over the back of the sofa and put it on. I pulled open the front door and ran outside into the rain. Weather like this is my favorite type of weather. Dark and gloomy, the smell of rain, heavy winds, thunder and lightning…what’s not to like about it? I ran down the little dirt road that leads to the lake at the edge of town, right outside the forest. There was only a few people outside. I slowed down as they started waving at me. “Hi Kiyoshi!” Mrs.Watanabe said to me. “Hey, how’s it going?” I asked as I stopped walking altogether so I could talk. “Well, I honestly do not like this sort of weather at all! It doesn’t do any good for this garden I have worked so very hard on! But, besides the weather, I’m feeling great!” She replied, as optimistic as ever. “It won’t last too long. It never does. Your garden’ll be fine. ” I replied. “Yeah! You’re right!” She replied with a pleasant smile. “Well, I’ll see you later.” I said as I began running down the dirt road again. “You too!” She called after me, waving her arm. I finally made it down to the lake. The rain had let up quite a bit. I sat down at the edge of the lake and just stared out into space. I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my them and sat my head on top of my knees and let out another sigh. I shut my eyes and let the rain pour on me.
I finally began to relax when I heard someone shout “Get back here!” I stood up quickly and turned to see a teenaged girl running fastly towards the forest and there were two police officers chasing after her. “What the heck!?” I exclaimed. The girl ran straight towards a tree with the officers right behind her. I thought she was gonna get trapped, but to my surprise she didn’t. She actually ran up the tree, did a back-flip in mid-air and landed crouched on her feet behind them. Then she stuck her left leg out and spun around in a complete circle on one foot, tripping the officers. They almost fell on her, but she somersaulted backwards away from them, causing them to fall hard on the ground. They stood back up and came after her again. She did a round-house kick, hitting one in the side of his head. He fell hard, but the other one tackled her down to the ground, where she was laying on her back. She struggled hard to get the officer off of her. Th
I finally began to relax when I heard someone shout “Get back here!” I stood up quickly and turned to see a teenaged girl running fastly towards the forest and there were two police officers chasing after her. “What the heck!?” I exclaimed. The girl ran straight towards a tree with the officers right behind her. I thought she was gonna get trapped, but to my surprise she didn’t. She actually ran up the tree, did a back-flip in mid-air and landed crouched on her feet behind them. Then she stuck her left leg out and spun around in a complete circle on one foot, tripping the officers. They almost fell on her, but she somersaulted backwards away from them, causing them to fall hard on the ground. They stood back up and came after her again. She did a round-house kick, hitting one in the side of his head. He fell hard, but the other one tackled her down to the ground, where she was laying on her back. She struggled hard to get the officer off of her.
The officer was holding her arms down with his hands. She kicked and wiggled and struggled to get him off. She managed to lift her arms up and broke free from the officer’s grasp. She slugged his face hard, probably breaking his nose, as I saw it bleed. He quickly got off of her holding his nose. The other officer started to walk back over there with a wooden bat in his hand. She had her back towards him. She was breathing heavily, trying to catch her breath. He swung the bat, attempting to hit the side of her head, but she somer-saulted foward, dodging the attack. Then she grabbed the hair on the back of both of the officers’ heads and banged there heads together. The officers stood there for a second then they both fell to the ground, knocked out. I just stared at her in awe, not even blinking “What are you looking at!?” She snapped at me in a rough voice. The sound of her voice startled me and I realized that she was talking to me and she looked and sounded terribly angry.
continued to stare for a few more moments until I saw her start stomping towards me with her gloved hands in in tight fists. When I saw her coming at me, I quickly turned around and began to run away. She followed for a few minutes, but she eventually stopped, but I continued to run from her for my own safety.
Now I was safe and sound at my cozy little house, and actually very hungry. My dad was at work and my mom was out, at the market I assumed, so I just heated up a frozen pizza in our black microwave so I could have something to eat. While my pizza was heating, I sat on the counter across from the shelf where the microwave sat and wondered about that frightening girl I saw earlier. “Where did she come from?” “Why were the police chasing her?” “Had she done something wrong?” “Was she really innocent, but someone was framing her for something?” “Where did she learn to fight like that?” These thoughts and more kept pouring into my mind.
I knew she probably wasn’t really entirely innocent after seeing what she had done to those officers. The microwave beeped when my pizza was done. It startled me a little. I guess all this thinking made me space-out a little. I grabbed a towel off the kitchen shelf and carefully pulled my pepperoni pizza out of the microwave and sat it on the shelf. The pizza came pre-cut so I didn’t have to cut it myself. I took the pizza into the living room, sat down on the couch with it and flipped on the television set and ate my pizza, not paying much attention to the t.v.
My mom came back from the market after I had been back home for about a half an hour. She apologized for not telling me earlier in the day that she would be leaving. I told her it was fine and was out our front door before she had a chance to say anything else. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my pants and slowly started down the dirt road, watching the sky as I walked.
The weather was much calmer than it was earlier today. I honestly prefered it when it was stormy, but that’s just my opinion. As I approached the edge of town I could see in the corner of my eye that there was someone running towards me, coming from the left side of the road. I glanced over to see who it was. It was that girl that was being chased from earlier! She walked to me with a pleasant look on her face. I just stood there watching her. In my head, I really wanted to run. I figured she was a dangerous person that only meant trouble, but something inside me told me it was ok to stay right where I was. “Hi!” She said with a soft tone in her voice. I suddenly relaxed. I felt no danger from her anymore. “Uh…hi..” I hesitated about replying, but I didn’t see what could really harm. “Hey, sorry about earlier.” She told me. I had a puzzled look on my face until it hit me. “Oh! You mean for scaring the living day lights out of me!?”
She got an un-amused look on her face. “Yeah…that. I just wasn’t sure if you had anything to do with the police or not. But after the way I saw you run so fast on those long legs of yours, I knew you were so scared you could have peed your pants, so I didn’t bother chasing you down and pounding the snot out of you,” She said with a laugh. I kind of nodded and trying to think of something to say that might not upset her. “Yeah…sorry about that. But that fight was just a bit……well, scary! I’ve NEVER seen anyone fight like that. Especially not in this little town here.” She laughed again. “Yeah, life doesn’t seem too interesting here!” “It isn’t” I assured her. “So why were the officers chasing you in the first place!?” I asked, almost forgetting completely about it. “To be honest, I have no clue! I was just walking down the road, and they shouted out after me. I turned around to see who was yelling and they started chasing me, so obviously, I tried to run away.
They never got the chance to tell me what my crime was! I knocked them out too soon!” She said with a huge grin on her face. Despite her mean aggressive demeanor, she actually seemed very nice, and to tell the truth, even though at first I was terrified by her, she was kinda pretty. Her skin was slightly tan, not by the sun, just a natural tan color, and her eyes were a warm and soft shade of gray and they had a small twinkle in them. Her hair was dark brown and part of it was kept up in a pony tail on the top left side of her head, secured by a gray hairband. She was average height and had a slim build with rather muscular arms, for being a girl.
We talked a little longer and got along really well. “Oh! We don’t know each other’s names yet, do we?” She said cheerfully. I smiled and shook my head. “Well, MY name is Natsami!! What’s yours, stretch?” She said, playfully punching my shoulder. I rubbed the spot she had hit and told her my name. “Kiyoshi.” I said.
“Now, that is one heck of a weird name!!!!” There was a mischeveous grin on her face. She started to laugh. “I’m only kidding!! Jeez, dude!! You should have seen the look on your face! You looked so offended, like you believed me!” “Well, I sorta did…I mean, after seeing what you did to those officers and everything, I’m still not too sure what to think. ” I explained, hoping to not to upset her. “Well, I know I can’t make you trust me, but I will say this, rather you’ll believe me or not: I only acted that way for my own defense, and I snapped at you like that because I was ticked, and you might have been trouble, so I wanted to scare you away, and it worked!!! But I’m usually a very outgoing and friendly, trust-worthy person.” There was a pleasant and comforting smile on her face when she was done speaking. I still want to be a little cautious, but she does seem nice afterall. I suppose I’ll give her a chance. “You know what?
Even after earlier, I believe you when you say that you’re friendly, I really do. So, maybe we can wind up being friends.” I said shrugging my shoulders. “Hey, man. That sounds awesome!!” So for the rest of the afternoon we hung out by the lake doing alot of talking. She (obviously) was a martial artist. She told me that she had been doing martial arts since she was 4 years old. And she likes to train everyday to keep herself strong.

This had all happened two years ago. We’re both 18 years old now, and best friends. I eventually got to the point where I had forgotten about how frightnening she was the first time I had seen her. Now we hang out everyday, and she usually spends the night at my place. Though we never really sleep. Most of the time we’re awake all night watching television and eating junk food. Today she eating breakfast at my place. “I hope you’re hungry!” My mother said to her. Both of my parents really like her, too.
“I’m starving!!” Natsami said, sitting down at our dining table. “You’re always hungry, Nati” I teased her. But it’s true. She’s always starving at every single meal, and she eats enough for three or more people. “No I’m not!! I’m hungry only half of the time!” She argued. “Here you go!” My mom said as she put a plater of sausage on the table. There was already a plater with about 40 chocolate chip pancakes on it, and a plater with a ton of bacon and a plate with peanut butter toast on it, and on the stove there was a plate with waffles on it and another plate with eggs. My mom usually goes way overboard when she fixes food. At least she used to. But now that we have Natsami, there was hardly ever any leftovers. Natsami served herself some food and started eating. I wasn’t going to eat breakfast today. I was still too full of chips, pizza, candy and popcorn from the night before. “I’ll wait for you outside. I’m not eating breakfast because I had far too much junk food last night.”
told Natsami as I left the dining room and entered the living room. I walked out the front door and sat down on the front steps of the porch and let out a sigh, gazing out into the distance. The blue sky was crystal clear and the sun was shining bright. It was fairly cool out still and the wind was blowing pretty hard. There were some people out in their gardens, watering plants, pulling dead plants and planiting new ones. Kids were out in the front yards laughing and playing, having a great time. I watched them be happy and having fun and waited for Natsami to get done eating.
4 sausages, 8 pancakes, 3 waffles, 5 eggs, 5 pieces of toast, 10 strips of bacon, and 2 glasses of milk later she walked out the front door. “Hey dude!” She called as she came up to me. “Hey.” I said with an unhappy sound in my voice. She gave me a puzzled look. “Something wrong?” She asked stretching her arms above her head.
“No. I’m fine. I was just bored, waiting forever for you to get done stuffing your face!” I said trying to sound a little happier than I really felt.

Sorry it’s it seperate pieces, but it’s too long to put in one piece.

Please, if you have any advice, feel free to offer it.
and also, please don’t be too mean.
i’m only 14 and i have no professional experience with writing, i’m simply doing the best that i can. and i want to know what other people think of it so far.
just so you know, Saphira Brightscales55 :P, there really aren’t any spelling errors, since i write on a program that has a spell check. it would fix the words if they were spelled wrong!
just so you know, Saphira Brightscales55 :P, there really aren’t that many spelling errors, since i write on a program that has a spell check. it would fix the words if they were spelled wrong!
you’re write grammar elf. i’m just trying the best i can, but english/writing is a subject i struggle in when i do school. but i still wanted to try to write a good story, but seeing everyone’s reaction to this, there’s no way i ever could. im just going to quit altogether, it would be better if i did….thanks anyways….
i wasn’t trying to be arrogant when i said that there weren’t many mistakes. i really wasn’t. and i dont care if you’re going to excuse me for my age. and i dont see it as “utter crap” to ask someone to try not to be too mean, unlike you KK! i’m sorry i even wasted your time by asking you to read this. it’s clear i cant write for anything, so i’m just done.
what the hell is your problem KK?
seriously? I never said anything that could have insulted you, you fat pig!! there was nothing that i did that should have upset you!! how can you be so cold hearted!!! honestly, what did i do!?
well, grammar elf, i’m home-schooled and my mom is my teacher. my mom, however is not home often to help me because she has to go to work everyday at 6:30 in the morning because my dad cant, due to his fibromyalgia. and he also is not good at teaching, so i’m a bit behind in my grades and school work….

and even though i may have seen mean and rude, i really appreciate everyone’s help. i just didn’t care for the way that KK worded her opinion.

i am going to try harder with my school work and i will try to find some tips on spelling and grammar.

and thank you so much, grammar elf, for saying what you really thought about my writing, but wording it in a nice way
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